WORDS FROM FATHER YOHANES: The Cost and Beauty of Discipleship

By Father Yohanes Akoit

The Gospel for the 13th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Matthew 10:37–42), sounds very strong. Jesus says that those who love their family members more than Him are not worthy of Him. He also says that anyone who does not take up their cross is not worthy of Him. Those who try to preserve their life will lose it, but those who lose their life for His sake will find it.

Our question is: why is it so difficult to follow Jesus? Why do we need to suffer separation from our family in order to follow Him? And why must we carry our own cross to follow Him? Why is such a difficult situation placed upon us in order to follow Jesus? One possible reflection is this: at first glance, if we read the Gospel from the perspective of our misery and wounded humanity, the passage becomes a burden for us. But if we try to read and reflect on the passage from the perspective of love, then it becomes an invitation to be faithful to our commitment. This foundation of reflection helps us understand that Jesus is not bringing separation between us and our family, nor asking us to respect God while despising our parents. He is calling us to widen our relationships and embrace one another more fully.

In simple terms, let us put it in a concrete example. There are occasions when a family member becomes a priest or a nun in the Catholic Church. In my case, my dad did not want me to become a priest. As the only son in the family, I was expected to work and take care of my parents when they grew old. Not only that, but in a patriarchal culture, the son is expected to inherit the family’s clan name and pass it on to his children. Since I am not married, my father’s clan name will end with me. This is a big issue in the family. But even so, I chose to become a priest. This decision may appear as if I am going against my father’s will, or that I am disobeying or downgrading my family. That perception is wrong, because I still love my family.

The essence of this example is that I am simply responding to God’s call to the priesthood. I understand that choosing this new way of life brings tension and disagreement with my dad. But again, in order to fulfill my commitment, I need to go beyond disagreement and disappointment. I made this choice with full awareness; I am not denying my family, but responding to God’s call. Later on, I will need to build a bridge between my priestly life and my family. This also applies to family life. Sometimes a family member marries someone from outside our Church. They do not marry in order to separate themselves from their family, but to reconcile their family with their new situation.

This happened in Jesus’ life as well. We remember the occasion when He was lost in the Temple at the age of twelve. It seems that He disrespected His mother and father by saying, “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But He still went back with them and lived in obedience. We see a similar example at the wedding at Cana. Jesus addressed His mother with the title “woman” and said, “What do you want from me, woman?” It sounds like tension or disagreement, but in the end He bridges the will of God and the request of His mother to help the wedding couple. This Gospel is a reminder for all of us to renew our commitment of faith in following Christ. It invites us to face the challenges that come with living our faith, not with fear, but with love. Jesus is not calling us to reject our families. He is calling us to put God first so that we may love our families, and everyone else, with a deeper, and more faithful love.

Father Yohanes Akoit is pastor of St. Julian and St. Anthony Catholic churches in Kentucky.